August is Human Tomato Season

Back in late May, I did my first Doors Open Toronto (How long have I been living here, and never made the effort?) and from the observation deck of City Hall I took a few snapshots of the CN Tower.

The day was a classically grey and ugly (seemingly the norm for the city of late), but there was something alluring about heavy fog enshrouding the tower’s upper pole, where all the radio and TV gear is house.

A friend used to manage the restaurant a few levels below, and he once described going up into the main broadcast box as fascinating and creepy: all copper lined, filled with gear, and you could feel the damn tower tip swaying with the wind.

Inside the box, you ain’t gonna die; maybe just feel a bit ‘air sick’ from the motions, if you happen to have one of those inner ear issues.

From a broader view of the tower, one can see the scaffolding that was firmly implanted into the circular superstructure, which looks a bit hairy.

Closer inspection (well, not much, given the images were taken through windows splattered with pigeon poop) reveals where participants of the new EdgeWalk amusement will walk. Note how wispy the whole thing looks from afar.

Well, as reported by Torontoist, Mark Laroche, CEO of the Canada Lands Company (owners of our priapic symbol of progress), not only took a walk, but wore a helmetcam to capture the bare essence of striding at the border of one’s doom.

I’ve no doubt the amusement is safe, but there is that extreme fear of a sudden gust of wind knocking one off, the wire snapping, and getting blown over the safety netting  -netting – after which one gets to experience the same freefall ride stuntman Dar Robinson enjoyed for the Canuxploitation classique Highpoint (1982) before you become a human tomato (or pancake, depending on the type of surface your body will marry, hard and fast).

Watch the video, and note the metal brackets on the walkway that no one manages to trip over; note the edge, still unblemished by ‘the netting,’ which is supposed to save you / stop you from attempting an immediate extraction from our global gene pool.

It’s all fascinating, but seriously: there’s gonna be a human tomato / C’est fantastique, mais vraiment: quelqu’un deviendra une tomate humaine.

Tickets are now on sale for $175, and the terror begins in August.

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Mark R. Hasan, Editor

KQEK.com